The Last Knot

My days in Taiwan as master student already over. I spent it as fully as I could. I even managed to go around Taiwan before going back to Indonesia thanks to my Taiwanese friend. Most of my to-do-list for 2 years in Taiwan already ticked or checked. But at that time, I still felt that I was in NCU, not going anywhere, feel like woke up in the afternoon, lined my friend and asked them out to have something to feed our hungry stomach and roaming on sidewalk beside our G14 dormitory to find a good canteen to eat. Even when I say goodbye to all my lab-mates, junior, senior, professor, I still can smile and say goodbye properly. I saw several of my friend even burst out the tears when saying goodbye, but then again I didn't feel like to do it. Because I feel that I am still here, I am still a part of NCU, like I am not going anywhere. 

Even after that I went back to Indonesia, I traveled to Bali, Malang and Lombok with my lab-mates, I still feel full of joy, enjoying everything, feeling like some travelers, together with my awesome partner-in-crime; Mommy, Kappa, Hongkong Girl, Minion and Local people. What the heck? you should confused about those weird name, shouldn't you? hahaha that was the nickname we got along the way of our journey in those 3 cities I mentioned before. I even managed to get one, Ursula (if maybe you don't know who she is, check Disney's movies 'Little Mermaid' then you should find which one this character is).

Starring:

 Mommy and Hongkong Girl

 Minion and Kappa

Local people and Ursula

Firstly, that empty feeling suddenly appear when the time to say goodbye to my Taiwanese friend is coming closer. That was the last 8 days we spent together, after we got back from Gilih trawangan, that they will be back to Taiwan. I remember I used my sunglasses and laughing together, but suddenly my tears are just coming out from nowhere. I was shocked! Why? And it can't be stopped, just bursting, thanks to my amazing sunglasses, nobody knows at that time. But still, although the tears already fell down, but my heart felt just ok, not in that sentimental way. But just ok, because I still can handle it.

Finally, We separated in Lombok International Airport, Indonesia. Their flight is to Denpasar-Hongkong-Taiwan. Me and minion were going to Jakarta. Mommy is staying at Lombok, coz that is her hometown. Tears began to struggle out on my eyes when Mommy say farewell as she hugged us with welling tears. But I managed to held back mine. The hardest part was when it's time to say goodbye to my Hongkong girl, Kappa and Local people. We were in the waiting room sit together, and when the time for us to boarded to each of our destination gate. Hongkong girl hug me and saying some cute thing , like " I will miss my pillow very much" (she can sleep soundly in a moving car when she laid her head to my arms since it was so big and comfy :3, so does Minions). The tears started to fell down. But once again, I really really tried to held it. Next is Kappa, I looked at his face and I know how sad he was and trying to held back the tears exactly as I did). I shook my hands with him and he tries to say goodbye while he put his hand on my shoulder while saying "Goodbye Ima", my tears almost slipped at that moment,but again, I handle it very well with my gesture. Quickly I change to Yuhan to shook my hand deeply to say my grateful for him that already helps me a lot during my life in Taiwan until now. And there they goes, come back to their life. That was when it hit me, this was the last time I could meet them directly. I wonder when we will get the chance to meet again.

I and Minion are ready to boarded on our plane. I can still saw three of my friends on the other gate waving their hands at us for the last time. That moment was the moment when the emptiness started to build inside me. That was the moment when I realized that my 3 lab-mates from Taiwan is the last knot of my life in Taiwan. They are the last pieces that binds me to the ups and downs there, they are the reason why I can still laugh and feel like a part of Taiwan's life. And now, that pieces are gone. The last knot already unraveled. It left me with sudden deep sadness. I can't explain it well, but suddenly my tears fell down on my cheek and I started to cry like a baby, I can see all the people at the queue staring at me even the stewardess, but I didn't care, I can't hold the tears anymore, it flows like a river. I was still crying until we sat down inside the plane and still went on even when the plane start to took off. Later on, Minion also cried because of my nonstop crying. 

Yes, Taiwan, I didn't know that you leave a deep impression and lot of memories in my heart. Let this time I express to you my gratitude as well as my farewell. Thank you for teaching me a lot of things about science, life, friendship, happiness, sadness, loneliness. Goodbye friends, goodbye part of my life, hopefully we can meet up and reminisce back someday in the future. 

But for now, it's time to say goodbye. 

Thank you and farewell Taiwan.

Unforgettable journey with my beloved friends

"Thanks for being such a lovely and funny companion during our travel days in Indonesia"

Lombok, August 11, 2014

[Random Thought] Reinkarnasi Kata

Satu moment yang paling membuat hati tergelitik adalah ketika aku sedang ngobrol sama seorang teman dan entah bagaimana jadi ngomongin tentang candaan.

"Kak, jangan terlalu banyak bercanda, apalagi berdusta dalam bercanda, walaupun candaannya cuma untuk lucu-lucuan aja"

Kalo sebelumnya sempat aku pikir, ahh kan cuma bercanda aja, gpp lah, wong gk serius-serius amat, biar hidup jgn terlalu tegang dan sepi, biar bisa happy-happy dengan teman lain.

Berselang beberapa moment setelah itu, justru pengalaman seputar masalah candaan ini jadi boomerang buat diri sendiri. Gak hanya sekali, tapi justru berkali-kali, hingga ke titik membuat aku sendiri tersadar bahwa bukan tidak mungkin kalau cara aku bercanda sama teman-teman lain selama ini pernah membuat mereka sakit hati dan bahkan bisa jadi aku sering mengulang candaan itu hingga membuatnya sakit hati. Astaghfirullah.

Bahkan baru-baru ini aku juga sempat membaca status teman berisi:

"Kata bisa menembus apa yg tidak bisa ditembus oleh jarum sekalipun" lebih dan kurang kira-kira beginilah bunyinya.

Nah lho, kena lagi deh. Kalo statement pertama membuat hati tergelitik, statement yang kedua ini menampar hati  ahahaha *istilahnya agak alay ini :p

Jadi terpikir tiba-tiba tentang reinkarnasi. Pemeluk agama Budha percaya akan konsep reinkarnasi, yang artinya terlahir kembali sebagai wujud atau sosok lain dikehidupan selanjutnya. Nah, kalo aku pikir-pikir ternyata kata jg bisa berenkarnasi, kenapa? Karena awal candaan yang kita lontarkan tadi bisa terjadi berulang kali dan bahkan melahirkan candaan-candaan lain yang lebih 'kreatif' demi mendukung candaan sebelumnya. Kita akan terjebak pada siklus candaan yang tiada henti, berulang-ulang, candaan yang untuk menyindir dan lucu-lucuan pada orang lain. Bahkan candaan yang secara tak sadar membuat statement pada dunia bahwa kita itu lebih baik dari pada orang lain yg kita becandain. Walaupun, awalnya tadi maksudnya bercanda, namun karena dilakukan berulang-ulang, dan malah disengaja, justru membuat kita terjebak pada reinkarnasi kata tadi. Dan semuanya ini berakhir dengan dosa. Ya, dosa yg kita timbun perlahan demi perlahan, sedikit demi sedikit setiap detiknya.

Trus jadi berpikir lagi, renkarnasi kata ini juga bisa berlaku vice versa. Membawa kebaikan dan menabung amalan sedikit demi sedikit. Ketika saling mengingatkan akan kebaikan, ketika kita 'lupa', reinkarnasi kata kebaikan ini bisa terus menjadi pengingat buat orang lain bahkan mengubah hati yang 'keras' menjadi lebih lembut, mungkin contoh dekatnya aja dari 2 statement dari teman-temanku sebelumnya buat aku sendiri. Simple tapi kalo momentnya pas, bisa 'ngena' ke hati. Malah bisa jadi amalan buat si pengingat tadi.  

Jadi intinya hari ini adalah, kurangilah candaan bila memang tidak perlu, terlebih lagi, jangan menciptakan candaan dari kekurangan dan kesulitan orang lain. 

Semoga kita dilindungi dari sifat dan perbuatan yang bisa menimbun dosa.

Nabi Muhammad S.A.W bersabda;

“Aku akan menjamin sebuah rumah di dasar surga bagi orang yang meninggalkan debat meskipun dia berada dalam pihak yang benar. Dan aku menjamin sebuah rumah di tengah surga bagi orang yang meninggalkan dusta meskipun dalam keadaan bercanda. Dan aku akan menjamin sebuah rumah di bagian teratas surga bagi orang yang membaguskan akhlaknya.”

(HR. Abu Dawud dalam Kitab al-Adab, hadits no 4167. Dihasankan oleh al-Albani dalam as-Shahihah [273] as-Syamilah)

[Random Thought] Mata Jika Mungkin

Jika mata itu gk da, apa manusia masih melakukan sesuatu hal supaya bisa dilihat dan kagumi oleh orang lain?

Jika mata itu gak ada, mungkin kita juga akan lebih jujur dalam melakukan sesuatu kebaikan dari hati.

Jika mata itu gak ada, mungkin orang akan mencintai orang lain seperti apa adanya dia, bukan karena bentuk tubuh atau parasnya yang cantik.

Jika mata itu gk ada, mungkin kita tidak harus melihat busuknya perilaku orang lain.

Jika mata itu gk ada, mungkin kita bisa terhindar dari pemandangan tak senonoh yang di pampangkan oleh dunia

Jika .. jika... mungkin... mungkin saja.

Tapi mata itu ada! 

Justru karena mata itu ada aku bisa melihat indahnya Tuhan menciptakan dunia ini

Justru karena mata itu ada aku bisa melihat dan membedakan apa itu cantik, ganteng, jelek, indah, rupawan, dan segala kata sifat yang bisa menggambarkan apa yang di saksikan oleh mata.

Justru karena ada mata makanya aku bisa menulis dan membedakan alphabet latin, hangul, kanji, hiragana, katakata, tagalog, han zi.

Justru karena ada mata aku bisa membaca segala keindahan yang diciptakan dari anggota tubuh lainnya, lukisan, tulisan, foto, dan sebagainya

Justru karena ada mata aku bisa melihat dan membaca ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran.

Justru itu aku harus bersyukur.

"Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang mana yang kau dustakan" - Ar-Rahman

*tulisan tetiba tengah malam gara-gara lagi mikir gimana supaya bisa ikhlas